


you're dead and out of this world

by fate-motif (fate_motif)



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: (but with zombies), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Gen, Graphic Description of Corpses, Grave (Raw) 2016, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inspirations for this fic, It's Okay They Don't Kill People, M/M, Multi, Obligate Cannibalism, What We Do In The Shadows - Freeform, Zombie Mutineers, it's always sunny in philadelphia - Freeform, izombie - Freeform, pitch black comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23589898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fate_motif/pseuds/fate-motif
Summary: "The yet unnamed condition currently prioritized by the foundation is extremely rare, but currently six individuals in London have been located that live together and all possess the condition after having been declared clinically dead."
Relationships: Solomon Tozer/Thomas Armitage (implied), William Gibson/Cornelius Hickey
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	you're dead and out of this world

_The following transcripts come from the currently-progressing report by Harry Goodsir, M.D., on behalf of the Franklin Foundation. The yet unnamed condition currently prioritized by the foundation is extremely rare, but currently six individuals in London have been located that live together and all possess the condition after having been declared clinically dead. This report is strictly confidential to protect the identities of the interviewed, and will only be identified by their initials._

* * *

**CH** : My name is C.H. Lifetime gig man. And current owner of the [REDACTED] Pub. The rooms above the place are where I live with five other housemates packed like sardines. I'll eat them all by the end of this, mark my words.

 **HG** : … is that an honest threat?

 **CH** : [ _grinning_ ] Hm.

* * *

 **ST** : My name is S.T. Veteran marine, no previous health conditions before contracting...whatever it is we have. Undeath. Do you have a name for it yet?

 **HG** : It's under discussion. 

**ST** : I hope there's no "zombie" in any of the names. What's your pick for it?

 **HG** : … Obligate anthropophagy syndrome.

 **ST** : … Zombie's fine.

* * *

 **MM** : My name is M.M., and I’ve been a ghoul for about four years.

 **HG** : That’s what you call yourselves?

 **MM** : When C. decided to lay down the rules, I said it rhymed. I mean, the others don’t like it but it’s shorter. And. It rhymes.

* * *

 **TA** : My name is T.A. I don't know what you'd be interested to know about me.

 **HG** : Oh, anything is fine.

 **TA** : … When I was growing up I really wanted to be a soldier.

 **HG** : A-about your illness, Mr. A.

* * *

 **WG** : My name is W.G. I'm a janitor at the [REDACTED] pub, and at [REDACTED]. ( _Note: the second establishment is a funeral home._ )

 **HG** : You work with bodies even with your condition?

 **WG** : Because. Because of my condition. There are limited ways to get your hands on human bodies, you know.

 **HG** : … duly noted.

* * *

 **RG** : My name is R.G.

 **HG** : How long have you been afflicted by your condition?

 **RG** : Four months on Friday from the day I died. M. offered to get a cake, but I think sometimes he forgets that we can't really eat anything but meat. So I don't know how special it's going to be if I just eat the usual on my birthday.

* * *

 **CH** : Cause of death - knife in the belly. Got the scar if you’d like the proof -

 **HG** : I’m good like - okay, please put your shirt back on, Mr. H. -

 **CH** : [ _while grinning_ ] Looking pretty good for a stab wound from six years ago, innit? They threw my body and the body of the boy that got killed with me in the fight into a ditch. It took my leg a day or two to come back well enough so I could climb out, but at the very least I had breakfast, lunch and dinner right there with me in the hole.

 **HG** : You were completely aware of the implications of what you were doing?

 **CH** : Not really at first. It all started to come back after, but I didn’t feel bad about it. Man wasn’t coming back. I was looking better. Only forward, you know? It was actually after I realized this was going to be a recurring thing that I started to worry. I don’t happen to enjoy eating from dead human bodies, you know. But you know, what gives you the right to eat from dead animals? We just do what we can to survive.

* * *

 **ST** : I got shot in the spine in the field, but my body wasn't recovered until a few days later and that's somehow how I caught the bug. Didn't really wake up until I was surrounded by other bodies in the freezer and I was knee-deep in the guts of another private, though. Like my body knew that it wasn't a good moment to wake up when there were people watching.

 **HG** : Do you have any recollection left from between your death and recovering awareness?

[ _A ten minute pause passes by until the interviewer tries to gently nudge ST out of his thinking state_.]

 **ST** : I don't think either of us want to know.

 **HG** : Wh - why do you say so?

 **ST** : [ _takes a deep breath_ ] You know how when you're asleep and sometimes feel something unusual as you're unconscious, and when you wake up you're told you were sleeptalking or having a night terror or just randomly started to jerk off in your sleep?

 **HG** : … no?

 **ST** : [ _staring away into the distance_ ] It was like that.

* * *

 **MM** : It all started for me when I got sick off something on a trip from the Isle of Wight. I mean, that's what I think did it because I went straight to the hospital the second the ferry touched the mainland. Not really sure what happened after that, though. But B. (referring to WG) says I died on the way and ended up at the morgue he was cleaning up for the night.

 **HG** : And you can attest to the fact that he's responsible for your condition instead of whatever you ingested that ended your life or something afterwards?

 **MM** : I mean, I hadn't met any other cannibals before Billy. First time one of the bodies he had his hands on when he got snacky got up when he tried to get a slice, though.

 **HG** : So he contaminated your dead body. Do you know if he was biting at you with his teeth or if he had injuries where blood may have passed on to yours?

 **MM** : He had a knife and fork in my calf, does that count?

* * *

 **TA** : I died when S. (referring to ST) hit me with his car one night when he couldn't see very well with his rearview mirror. Broken neck. That was three years ago.

 **HG** : Can you confirm that he transmitted the disease to you?

 **TA** : Yeah, he did. He didn't really mean it, he told me, but he was just really new at the entire "holding back your primal hunger for human flesh" thing, and he had a fresh corpse in front of him when no one was looking. He stopped short of eating anything I couldn't heal on my own, though. Which I'm glad about.

 **HG** : You're still capable of healing?

 **TA** : Better than when I was alive, I'd say, up to a point. He apologized and said I could eat from his guts later if I wanted any.

 **HG** : … When was this?

 **TA** : Two days after on a drip of human blood when my head cleared. I said no thanks.

* * *

 **WG** : I'm not comfortable talking about the circumstances surrounding my death. I'm sure if you have my legal death certificate, you have everything you need to know.

 **HG** : We were unable to access it; you had it revoked, after all. All of you except Mr. H., actually.

 **WG** : Yeah, that's not an accident. I can tell you he was definitely responsible for my condition.

 **HG** : Is this speculation, or did he inform you of this?

 **WG** : C. set me apart from a pile of other bodies he'd taken for himself and stuffed in a freezer. Said he had planned on eating me last and was actually pleased I'd gotten up. Bloody liar.

 **HG** : He brought you back deliberately?

 **WG** : I didn't realize it at the moment. I kind of got distracted when I ended up eating his ass later that night.

 **HG** : … Literally?

 **WG** : There were sauces involved, but no. He'll be very proud to tell you that his ass is still, in his words, juicy.

* * *

 **RG** : I didn't really spend a lot of time dead before coming back. C. found me seizing up in an alley; I think he just felt bad.

 **HG** : Seizing up? Was this the result of a previous medical condition, a side effect from medical treatment -

 **RG** : … You're not going to pass this to the cops, are you?

 **HG** : No, we're under no obligation to.

 **RG** : I honestly don't remember what the name of the thing was, but it's white and you shoot it up? Guess it was dirty in some way.

 **HG** : So far from other testimonies it seems the condition is transmitted through direct contact with bodily fluids or in one case contaminated medical supplies. Can you confirm this was the way it was passed on to you?

 **RG** : I think so. Woke up with my teeth sunk in H.'s neck and just thought I'd hooked up with someone while I was out of it. Nah, thankfully I'd just died and come back to life.

* * *

 **CH** : I can tell you my own personal observations about the condition, if you'd like.

 **HG** : By all means.

 **CH** : First ghoul rule: you've got to eat human flesh. You got that one, didn't you?

 **HG** : Perfectly clear.

 **CH** : See, nothing else passes through your system. We're honestly still trying to see if we can find anything else we can eat, and it's actually been a bit of a competition. Like, red meat kind of gives your guts something to chew on, but I think normal people get more out of eating grass.

 **HG** : Actually, the content of silica in grass damages your teeth and ruminants require four stomachs to process it properly.

 **CH** : It won't really give you too bad a time, you know. You just stay really, really hungry. That's actually worse, because then you end up feeling starved even though your belly's full and that's really bad for your image. Skin, hair and eyes start to pick up on the fact that you're dead, every paper cut you've had for the past decade starts to open up. The makeup takes forever even when I'm not hungry.

 **HG** : … Is this the same state reported where you lose cognitive function and revert to aggressive animalistic behaviour?

 **CH** : Oh, yeah, that happens too.

* * *

 **ST** : With this condition, you can’t starve to death. If you try, your instincts will take over and you’re going to become a horror movie zombie if that’s what gets you food.

 **HG** : Do you enter this state often?

 **ST** : No. We do our best to be careful, we're very conscious about our limitations and how much we can take without food before going rabid. We don't consider ourselves a danger to the community, and the rest of the group does the best to cover for whoever's lost their mind.

 **HG** : How do you manage that?

 **ST** : Leashes, chains and locks, mainly, and we just feed them what they need until they come back to a few hours after.

 **HG** : I see.

 **ST** : If the chance of accidentally hunting people down wasn't enough to keep us from starving ourselves for too long, we've caught H. filming us like this and post it online. Don't worry, his Pornhub profile keeps being taken down because you're not supposed to post videos of literally rabid men in dog collars.

* * *

 **MM** : I'm actually not all that fussed up about being undead. As long as you eat like you have to, you actually get a lot on the side.

 **HG** : Like what?

 **MM** : I don't think I built up muscle mass like this when I was alive, and the performance! S. actually had to stop going to gyms because he was just that strong and tough. Well, and the cravings, but aside from that.

 **HG** : I've also caught reports of accelerated healing.

 **MM** : Oh, yeah. You can get almost anything back that's not like, a whole body part. It's actually pretty cool when your mate takes a chunk out of your back and you know you'll get it back tomorrow. But you can't grow back any full members. If they did, B. and C. (referring to WG and CH) would still be together. One evening C. got snacky, and that's why B. doesn't have big toes anymore.

* * *

 **TA** : You can get back almost everything if you're hurt. Massive amounts of skin and muscle, takes a week for a broken bone to come back. But you can't come back from a headshot. I know that much.

 **HG** : Have you actually seen anyone with the condition...laid low by damage done to the head or brain, personally?

 **TA** : No, but you can be sure I tried.

 **HG** : Beg pardon?

 **TA** : [ _sighing_ ] I think it's only fair that when you enter a rabid state and your mate, instead of keeping you locked up, chains you up to the back of a truck and waves an arm from the windows as he starts up the truck and records the entire two mile journey, only to upload it online; you have the right to grab a rifle and point it at the bastard.

 **HG** : … I'm at a loss on how to answer that.

 **TA** : He's fine, I only grazed his neck. Fucker was basically shitting himself before that, though, so you can be sure it would have done some damage. That was good enough for me.

* * *

 **WG** : I know you're probably disgusted by everything the others have told you, Mr. Goodsir. And I'm sorry about any distress they may have caused you. But believe it or not, we have our own standards. We don't kill anyone, and we do our best to stop anyone from getting hurt. With our condition, that's very hard to pull off. We take responsibility when anyone gets turned because of us, and the door is always open for anyone who needs our help and needs the grub. It's not an easy job, but. It's the best we can do. 

**HG** : I've had word of murder attempts between the six of you.

 **WG** : [ _angry_ ] Oh, have you? There's a limit to what a man can take having ripped off him while he's unconscious, you know! C. should be grateful I didn't string him up and let the others make a buffet out of him. 

**HG** : … Not that one, though.

* * *

 **RG** : I've been adjusting quite nicely to undeath, actually. It all has to do with a stable source of meat, and having your boys keep an eye on you is just a huge weight off your back. I don't think I'd be able to handle the condition without them, and I'm getting through trade school the best I can. I'm really glad I have them on my side.

 **HG** : … I'm profoundly sorry to hear that.


End file.
